I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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