he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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