seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize