All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
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i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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