CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize