Nicole vs. Life
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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