i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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