If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize