Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
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That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
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In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want to fling myself into the sun
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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