Swine flu is the new snow day.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize