we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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