just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
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Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
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I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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