he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
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Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
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I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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