To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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