Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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