Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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