My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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