I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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