you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize