Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize