oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize