I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
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Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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