If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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