Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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