I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I puked a lego.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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