She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
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I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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