Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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