Don't make out with my wife yet
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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