Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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