"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize