She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
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The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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