He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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