Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize