He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
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update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
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Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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