every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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