Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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