eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize