While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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