Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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