Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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