the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize