He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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