I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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