mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize