Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize