i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I love you.
Bad choice
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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