What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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