Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
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failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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