i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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