ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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