Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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